My mindset right now- life is holding me back.
Do you ever get that? That sometimes you just feel like you can't do what you want to do? I know I said in one of my previous posts that I'm going to start appreciating school but I don't see school as something that is aiding my life, I see it as something that is stopping me from doing the things I want to do.
I want to make music and tour, I want to be on a stage show, I want to write a book, or a play or protest! But I'm only 15, no one is going to hire me or take me seriously. I honestly feel like I have no rights.
I go through stages of this, sometimes I want to stay young and priority-less for the rest of my life and other times I just can't think of anything worse. I want to get out into the world, I want to make change, I WANT TO LIVE! Not just keep on living this cassette player that is my life, constantly moving but not changing. I want the world to change but I can't do it, I don't know how and no one will let me try.
I guess maybe a way I could make myself feel better is to set goals? I'll at least feel like I've accomplished something right?
GOALS
1. Finish my book- see it in stores soon people!
2. Write a musical- I know I can do this
3. Clean my room- baby steps
I know this post was a whole jumble of random stuff that probably makes no sense, but I'm pretty sure no one reads this anyway!
Thats all for now, I'll speak to you soon!
Fuck, life is monogamous. I just want to live!
Wednesday, 18 February 2015
Sunday, 15 February 2015
The Audition Progress
Auditions may be the single most nerve racking exercise out there. Actually no, scrap that- call backs are.
Las week we had auditions for the musical 'The Wiz'. I originally went for the part of the Scarecrow, and was unsuccessful, I did however get a call back for the part of Addaperle- The Good Witch Of The North. For those who don't know, The Wiz is like the rock version of the Wizard Of Oz.
Now, I just thought I would share will you all, my tips on how to survive an audition and let you know of some of the things I would've done differently.
Firstly, DON'T BE SO NERVOUS YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING! A little bit of nerves can be a good thing, if you channel that energy into something positive but if you are so nervous that you can't even sing the high notes (which is exactly what I did) you will regret it. Don't be so nervous that you are limiting your ability- it will honestly get you nowhere.
Don't get so upset if you don't get the role you wanted. Now, I didn't have this trouble as I was pretty sure I did so badly in my audition that I wouldn't have gotten anything, I thought I did even worse in the call backs. But, one of my friends was 100% sure she had gotten Dorothy before she even walked into the audition, and she ended up getting a chorus role and naturally was (and is) very disappointed. But, although it may sound bad I am glad she didn't get it as it did ground her a little. She has always thought she was miles above everyone else and this minor step back in her career, I think, will do her some good. That aside, just remember that even if you didn't get the part you wanted, more opportunities will come and one day you will get the role you were after. Heads up, there is always next time. But, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a chorus role, I love being a part of the chorus, you meet more people that way!
ENJOY IT! Musicals are one of the most enjoyable things out there. I would honestly perform in musicals my whole life if I could (and I want to one day, I just need to work on my singing. as its not that great) If you go in with all these nerves and doubts you are wasting the opportunity to make some truly amazing friends and memories. Let yourself go, and GO FOR IT.
I wish anyone reading this good luck, whether it be for an audition, call back or anything along those lines, I hope you all enjoy yourselves and do well.
oh! And I did get Addaperle by the way! Rehearsals started Wednesday!
Las week we had auditions for the musical 'The Wiz'. I originally went for the part of the Scarecrow, and was unsuccessful, I did however get a call back for the part of Addaperle- The Good Witch Of The North. For those who don't know, The Wiz is like the rock version of the Wizard Of Oz.
Now, I just thought I would share will you all, my tips on how to survive an audition and let you know of some of the things I would've done differently.
Firstly, DON'T BE SO NERVOUS YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING! A little bit of nerves can be a good thing, if you channel that energy into something positive but if you are so nervous that you can't even sing the high notes (which is exactly what I did) you will regret it. Don't be so nervous that you are limiting your ability- it will honestly get you nowhere.
Don't get so upset if you don't get the role you wanted. Now, I didn't have this trouble as I was pretty sure I did so badly in my audition that I wouldn't have gotten anything, I thought I did even worse in the call backs. But, one of my friends was 100% sure she had gotten Dorothy before she even walked into the audition, and she ended up getting a chorus role and naturally was (and is) very disappointed. But, although it may sound bad I am glad she didn't get it as it did ground her a little. She has always thought she was miles above everyone else and this minor step back in her career, I think, will do her some good. That aside, just remember that even if you didn't get the part you wanted, more opportunities will come and one day you will get the role you were after. Heads up, there is always next time. But, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a chorus role, I love being a part of the chorus, you meet more people that way!
ENJOY IT! Musicals are one of the most enjoyable things out there. I would honestly perform in musicals my whole life if I could (and I want to one day, I just need to work on my singing. as its not that great) If you go in with all these nerves and doubts you are wasting the opportunity to make some truly amazing friends and memories. Let yourself go, and GO FOR IT.
I wish anyone reading this good luck, whether it be for an audition, call back or anything along those lines, I hope you all enjoy yourselves and do well.
oh! And I did get Addaperle by the way! Rehearsals started Wednesday!
Monday, 9 February 2015
Bus Life Lessons?
Today I was on the bus with a bunch of friends, just before we boarded I sang "Help" By The Beatles and this elderly woman stopped me and said
And remember to appreciate yourself, if you know you are good at something then appreciate that about yourself, don't dumb yourself down or act modest. Yell it at the top of your lungs! 'IM GOOD AT READING!' Let the world know!
"Isn't it wonderful how you know all the words and you're so young"
I was really flattered, such a simple compliment and it truly made my day. When we got on the bus we sat near the woman (who's name I never learnt) and she told us some really valuable life lessons.
Live While You're Young.
She said that you spend more time being old than you do being young, life is too short to make hard and fast decisions. But, she also said that you should think hard about the decisions you DO make as you will live with them for the rest of your life. One day you will die, it's inevitable, it may be scary but there is no escaping it. So yes, you could die at any point, and I've made the decision that I'm going to live everyday as though it may be my last.
No, I'm not going to do something crazy and life changing everyday. I don't have the money to go sky diving or sailing every weekend, but I do have the time to watch a movie that changes my life, give a compliment, read a book, write a blog post, hang with friends, hell I can play with my dog! I want to live with no regrets!
Self Respect
She said to appreciate yourself and respect yourself. One way to live without regret is to think about the decisions you make and think 'will I regret this later' if the answer is yes- don't do it. Self respect has a lot to do with the decisions you make. If a person is trying to pressure you into something that you don't want to do, make sure you say no. Respect yourself enough to know your boundaries! However, if that person is smoking hot and you've been waiting for this moment your whole life and its completely consensual, go for it! Live! Go get some!And remember to appreciate yourself, if you know you are good at something then appreciate that about yourself, don't dumb yourself down or act modest. Yell it at the top of your lungs! 'IM GOOD AT READING!' Let the world know!
Don't Take Things For Granted
The final thing this elderly stranger said to me is to appreciate the things you would normally take for granted. Next time you are sitting in school wishing you could be somewhere else remember that you are so privileged to be there. I, am so guilty for this. I blame school for not letting me live the life I want to. I could be out in the real world, protesting or playing music or finding true love! Instead I'm learning how to use tan cos and sin. But this lady completely changed my perspective, I go to school for free, I get to act, sing, write all the time, others don't get this. I'm going to try and appreciate school. It may be a struggle at first, but I just need to remind myself that others aren't so lucky.
This post wasn't trying to make any readers feel guilty for living in a first world country, actually it was the opposite. I just want everyone to live a life that they would look back and smile at. Live everyday like it is a Hollywood film, a film that you'd love to watch one day.
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” - John Lennon
Saturday, 7 February 2015
Purposes
Do you ever watch a film, or read a book about an extremely talented, intelligent ingenious human being and realise how completely insignificant and useless you truly are? I'm not trying to say that anyone is either, everyone has a purpose, and everyone is, in some way or another significant. Everyone has some sort of reason as to why they are here. Some believe in fate, some believe in a higher being, some don't believe at all.
I, myself am agnostic about all three.
I do believe everyone is 'here for a reason' but when I see or read some peoples life achievements I realise, how little I truly am in the scheme of things.
I am not going to be remembered, I am not going to achieve anything that will change the face of humanity. I'm not saying this for pity or for recognition of the things I have done. I'm saying this as a fact.
I do not have the brains to invent something that will be remembered, I don't have the talent to create something timeless and I don't have the patience to try and explain all the thoughts that wander around my head. I wager that somewhere amongst them, something beautiful may be born. I just don't have the words, or the listeners to explain them.
Everything around you was brought to you by the intelligence of another; the computer I write this on, the light I sit under, the bed I lay on. Absolutely every single man made object has come from the thoughts of someone, you most likely have never met, and yet they made a difference. Their names, or faces may be not widely known any longer, but the world is still in dept to them.
I wish that I could make a difference like theirs, I want to be remember for improving humanity, whether it be through music, science, mathematics, english, drama.
I'd like to go back on my previous statement. I am not insignificant, I am not useless- I have just to find my purpose. There is a possibility I have found it, there is the possibility I may never find it.
"We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done" A.M Turing
I, myself am agnostic about all three.
I do believe everyone is 'here for a reason' but when I see or read some peoples life achievements I realise, how little I truly am in the scheme of things.
I am not going to be remembered, I am not going to achieve anything that will change the face of humanity. I'm not saying this for pity or for recognition of the things I have done. I'm saying this as a fact.
I do not have the brains to invent something that will be remembered, I don't have the talent to create something timeless and I don't have the patience to try and explain all the thoughts that wander around my head. I wager that somewhere amongst them, something beautiful may be born. I just don't have the words, or the listeners to explain them.
Everything around you was brought to you by the intelligence of another; the computer I write this on, the light I sit under, the bed I lay on. Absolutely every single man made object has come from the thoughts of someone, you most likely have never met, and yet they made a difference. Their names, or faces may be not widely known any longer, but the world is still in dept to them.
I wish that I could make a difference like theirs, I want to be remember for improving humanity, whether it be through music, science, mathematics, english, drama.
I'd like to go back on my previous statement. I am not insignificant, I am not useless- I have just to find my purpose. There is a possibility I have found it, there is the possibility I may never find it.
"We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done" A.M Turing
I do believe everyone is 'here for a reason' but when I see or read some peoples life achievements I realise, how little I truly am in the scheme of things.
I am not going to be remembered, I am not going to achieve anything that will change the face of humanity. I'm not saying this for pity or for recognition of the things I have done. I'm saying this as a fact.
I do not have the brains to invent something that will be remembered, I don't have the talent to create something timeless and I don't have the patience to try and explain all the thoughts that wander around my head. I wager that somewhere amongst them, something beautiful may be born. I just don't have the words, or the listeners to explain them.
Everything around you was brought to you by the intelligence of another; the computer I write this on, the light I sit under, the bed I lay on. Absolutely every single man made object has come from the thoughts of someone, you most likely have never met, and yet they made a difference. Their names, or faces may be not widely known any longer, but the world is still in dept to them.
I wish that I could make a difference like theirs, I want to be remember for improving humanity, whether it be through music, science, mathematics, english, drama.
I'd like to go back on my previous statement. I am not insignificant, I am not useless- I have just to find my purpose. There is a possibility I have found it, there is the possibility I may never find it.
"We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done" A.M Turing
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